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1、放爱一条生路 TheotherdayasItalkedwithafriendIrecalledastorythatIheardthissummer."Acompassionateperson,seeingabutterflystrugglingtofreeitselffromitscocoon,andwantingtohelp,verygentlyloosenedthefilamentstoformanopening.前几天和一位朋友闲聊时,我想起今年夏天听到的一个故事:“有个人很富有同情心,看到一只蝴蝶拼命挣扎想冲破茧的束缚,就帮了个忙,轻轻地解开
2、茧丝使其露出一个缺口。Thebutterflywasfreed,emergedfromthecocoon,andflutteredaboutbutcouldnotfly.Whatthecompassionatepersondidnotknowwasthatonlythroughthebirthstrugglecanthewingsgrowstrongenoughforflight.Itsshortenedlifewasspentontheground;itneverknewfreedom,neverreallylived."蝴蝶得到解放,从茧中出来振
3、翅欲飞,然而却飞不起来。这位富有同情心的人所不知道的是,只有经过挣扎破茧而出,翅膀才能变得强壮,可以飞翔。这只蝴蝶短暂的生命只能在地上度过了,它从未尝过自由的滋味,没有真正享受过生活。”Icallitlearningtolovewithanopenhand.Itisalearningwhichhascomeslowlytomeandhasbeenwroughtinthefiresofpainandinthewatersofpatience.IamlearningthatImustfreetheoneIlove,forifIclutchorcling,
4、trytocontrol,IlosewhatItrytohold.我把它叫做学会放爱一条生路。这个教训经历了痛苦的锻造和耐心的洗礼,我才逐渐认识到。我学会了必须给所爱的人自由,如果我抓得太紧、紧握不放、设法控制,结果可能会失去他们。IfItrytochangesomeoneIlovebecauseIfeelIknowhowthatpersonshouldbe,Irobhimorherofapreciousright,therighttotakeresponsibilityforone'sownlifeandchoicesandwayofbeing.W
5、heneverIimposemywishorwantortrytoexertpoweroveranother,Irobhimorherofthefullrealizationofgrowthandmaturation.Ilimitandpreventbymyactofpossession,nomatterhowkindmyintention.如果我试图改变所爱的人,仅仅因为我觉得他/她应该这样,就等于是掠夺了他/她的一项珍贵的权利,即他/她对自己生命的责任权和生活方式的选择权。无论何时我把自己的意志和权力强加给别人,都会导致他/她无法完全成长和成熟。
6、无论我的意图多么善良,我的控制行为还是限制和阻碍了他们。Icanlimitandinjurebythekindestactsofprotectionorconcern.Overextendeditcansaytotheotherpersonmoreeloquentlythanwords,"Youareunabletocareforyourself;Imusttakecareofyoubecauseyouaremine.Iamresponsibleforyou."即使保护或关心这种最善意的行为也会限制和伤害别人。“你无法照顾自己,我必须照顾你,因为你是
7、我的,我要对你负责。”对别人说这么动人的语言远远超越了你的权力。AsIlearnandpracticemoreandmore,IcansaytotheoneIlove:"Iloveyou,Ivalueyou,IrespectyouandItrustthatyouhavethestrengthtobecomeallthatitispossibleforyoutobecome—ifIdon'tgetinyourway.IloveyousomuchthatIcansetyoufreetowalkbesidemeinjoyandinsadness.随着我学习
8、和锻炼的增多,现在我会这样告诉我爱的人:“我爱你、珍惜你、尊重你,我相信你有足够的实力发展成为你想要成为的人