托福写作常见错误举例分析

《托福写作常见错误举例分析》由会员上传分享，免费在线阅读，更多相关内容在行业资料-天天文库。

1、智课网TOEFL备考资料托福写作常见错误举例分析我们先来看一道题目：Doyouagreeordisagreewiththefollowingstatement:Forfuturesuccess,relatingwelltoothersismoreimportantthanstudyinghardatschool.某学员的观点为Studyinghardismoreimportantforfuturesuccess，并完成了以下的段落：[TopicSentence]Firstofall,studyinghardatschoolcanlayagoodfoundation.[Explanation

2、]Medicineandlawarebothneedlongtimetostudy’ssubject.Peopleshouldlearnatleastthreeyearstohaveabasicrecognition.[Example]Forexample,onedayamangoestothehospital.AndthedoctorwhoiscuringthemansaysthatImaynotbringyouahealthybodybecauseIcangetthisjobresultfrommyfriend.ActuallyIamnotgoodatit.SoIhaveaquesti

3、onisifyoumeetadoctorjustlikethis,whatwouldyoudo?Andwhatwouldyouthinkaboutit?Thistypeofpeoplecannotbeallowedtoappearinthesociety.Itisanoppositeinstance.虽然此段的结构很清晰，但是在内容层面，还是有很多常见的托福写作错误发生：1.解释与主题句逻辑联系不紧密。解释的精髓在于将主题句的抽象概念进行第一层次的具体化，并起到把主题与例子联系起来的桥梁作用。但是，以上文段当中问题比较明显。首先，主题句中的要点在于hard，而解释的部分却表达了longti

4、me.时间长跟努不努力没有关系。Problematic:Medicineandlawarebothneedlongtimetostudy’ssubject.Peopleshouldlearnatleastthreeyearstohaveabasicrecognition.Revised:Thesuccessofmanyelitesindifferentfields[埋下伏笔，为例子做铺垫]istheresultofunrelentingefforts[同义改写，呼应主题句]intheirschooldays.2.例证欠缺说服力差。例子需要围绕主题句和解释部分的逻辑展开，比如这道题，最核心的

5、逻辑链条便是由studyinghard带来的success。作者想用一个反例来说明如果不好好学习，能力不够是没法在社会上生存的。但是在表达方式上过于口语化，而且语言质量不高。Problematic:Forexample,onedayamangoestothehospital.AndthedoctorwhoiscuringthemansaysthatImaynotbringyouahealthybodybecauseIcangetthisjobresultfrommyfriend.ActuallyIamnotgoodatit.SoIhaveaquestionisifyoumeetadocto

6、rjustlikethis,whatwouldyoudo?Andwhatwouldyouthinkaboutit?Thistypeofpeoplecannotbeallowedtoappearinthesociety.Itisanoppositeinstance.Revised:Doctorsserveasanexcellentexample.[正例]Inordertobecomesuccessfuldoctors,medicalstudentsmustreadthousandsofprofessionalbooksandpapersatschool,takenumeroustestsan

7、dspendlonghoursinthelaboratory.Noonecandenythathardworkatschoolgreatlycontributestotheirreputationandexpertise.Patientswillbemorecomfortablereceivingmedicaltreatmentfromthesedoctors.[反例]Conversely,nooneiswillingt