humors-and-jokes-1

humors-and-jokes-1

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时间:2019-06-19

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1、1.AgoodDeed------Didyoudoyougooddeedtoday?------Yes,Dad.FourotherchildrenandIhelpedanoldladycrossthestreet.------Whydidittakefiveofyou?------Shedidn’twanttogo.2.TheTeacher’sNotationDuringaChristmasexam,oneofthequestionswas:“Whatcausesthedepression?”Oneofthestu

2、dentswrote,“Godknows,Idon’tknow.MerryChristmas!”Exampapercamebackwiththeteacher’snotation:“Godgets100,youget0.HappyNewYear.”3.HeatandColdOnceateacherofphysicsaskedTomaboutthefactofheatandcold.“Heatmakesthingsbiggerandcoldmakesthingssmaller.”answeredTom.“Quiter

3、ight”,theteachersaid,“butcanyougivemeanexample?”“Yes,ofcourse.”Hesaid,“Forexample,insummerwhenitishot,thedaysaregettinglongerandinwinterwhenitiscold,thedaysaregettingshorter.”4.It’squiteDarkinMyShedNathredinhadashedbehindhishouse.Ithadnolightinit.Onenight,hewe

4、ntouttotheshedtogethisladderandlosthisringthere.Helefttheladder,wentoutintothestreetandbegantolookaround.Oneofhisfriendssawhiminthestreetoutsidehishouseandsaidtohim,“Hello,Nathredin,whatareyoulookingfor?”“Myring,”answeredNathredin,“Itfelloffmyfinger.It’sthesil

5、verringwitharedstoneinit.”“Oh,yes.”saidhisfriend,“Irememberit.Iwillhelpyoulookforit.Wheredidyouloseit?”“Inmyshed.”“Butwhydon’tyoulookforitthere?”“Don’tbestupid.It’squitedarkinmyshed.SohowwouldIfindmyringthere?Here,thereislightfromthelampsofstreet.”5.IAmTwiceEi

6、ghteenAwomanwashavingsometroublewithherheart.Soshewenttoseethedoctor.Hewasanewdoctor,anddidn’tknowher.Sohefirstaskedsomequestions,andoneofthemwas:“Howoldareyou?”“Well,”sheanswered,“Idon’tremember,doctor.ButIwilltrytothink.”Shethoughtforaminuteandthensaid,“Yes,

7、Iremembernow,doctor.WhenImarried,Iwaseighteenyearsold,andmyhusbandwasthirty.Nowmyhusbandissixty,Iknow.Andthatistwicethirty.SoIamtwiceeighteen.Thatisthirty-six,isn’tit?”6.That’sathiefJohngotupatthemiddleofthenightandsawsomethingwhiteinhisgarden.Itseemedtobemovi

8、ngtowardshishouse.“That’sathief.”Hethought.Hetookhisgunandshotathim.Thenhewentbacktohisbedandfellasleepagainbecausehewastoofrightenedtogooutofthehouseinthedark.ThenextmorningJohnwe

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