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1、1.Acouplereturnsfromshoppingtofindtheircarhasbeenstolen.Theygotothepolicestationtomakeareport.Adetectivedrivesthembacktotheparkinglottoseeifanyevidencecanbefoundatthesceneofthecrime.Totheiramazement,thecarhasbeenreturned.Thereisanenvelopeonthewindshieldwithanoteofapologyandtwoticketstoamusicconcert.
2、Thenotereads,"Iapologizefortakingyourcar,butmywifewashavingababyandIhadtohot-wireyourignitiontorushhertothehospital.Pleaseforgivetheinconvenience.Herearetwoticketsfortonight'sconcertofGarthBrooks."Thecoupleattendtheconcertandreturnhomelate.Theyfindtheirhousehasbeenrobbedandvaluablegoodshavebeentaken
3、.Thereisanoteonthedoorreading,"Youstillhaveyourcar.ButIhavetoputmynewlybornkidthroughcollegesomehow."2.Amanandawomanwerehavingdinnerinafinerestaurant.Theirwaitress,takinganotherorderatatableafewpacesawaynoticedthatthemanwasslowlyslidingdownhischairandunderthetable,withthewomanactingunconcerned.After
4、thewaitressfinishedtakingtheorder,shecameovertothetableandsaidtothewoman,"Pardonme,ma'am,butIthinkyourhusbandjustslidunderthetable."Thewomancalmlylookedupatherandrepliedfirmly,"Ohhno,Myhusbandjustwalkedinthedoor."3.Ablondetoalong-distancetelephoneoperator:"Couldyoupleasetellmethetimedifferencebetwee
5、nTaipeiandLasVegas"Operator:"Justaminute..."Blonde:"Thankyou,"andwiththatshehungup.4.Duringanannualpsychiatristsconvention,threepsychiatriststakeawalk."Peoplearealwayscomingtouswiththeirguiltandfears,"onesays,"butwehavenoonetogotowithourproblems.Sincewe'reallprofessionals,whydon'tweheareachotheroutr
6、ightnow"Theyagreethatthisisagoodidea.Thefirstpsychiartristconfesses,"I'macompulsiveshopperanddeeplyindebt,soIoverbillpatientsasoftenasIcan."Thesecondadmits,"Ihaveadrugproblemthat'soutofcontrol,andIfrequentlypressuremypatientsintobuyingillegaldrugsforme."Thethirdpsychiatristsays,"Iknowit'swrong,butno
7、matterhowhardItry,Ijustcan'tkeepasecret."5.Anewclienthadjustcomeintoseeafamouslawyer."Canyoutellmehowmuchyoucharge?"saidtheclient."Ofcourse",thelawyerreplied,"Icharge$200toanswerthreequestions!""Wellt
