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1、MaryandMaxMary’seyeswerethecolorofmuddypuddles.Herbirthmark,thecolorofpoo.ItwasSaturdayafternoonandshewasbored.Marywishedthatshehadafriendtoplaypiggybackswith.Mary’smoodring,whichshe’dfoundinacerealbox,wasgrey,which,accordingtothechart,meantshewaseitherpensive,unconsciouslyambitious
2、orhungry.Heronlyfriendswerethe‘TheNoblets’fromherfavoritecartoon.Theyweren’ttherealonesyoubroughtintheshops,butthefakeonesshehadtomakeherselffromshells,gumnuts,pompoms,andthechickenbonessalvagedfromFridaynight’stakeaway.Shehadtomakeallherowntoys,andherfavoriteswereShrinkiespotatochi
3、ppacketsthatshehasshrunkintheoven.Mary’sfather,NoelNormanDinkle,workedinafactory,attachingthestringstoteabags.Atshowandtell,shetoldtheclasshecouldgetasmanyfreeteabagsashewanted.HerfavoriteteabagwasEarlGrey.Shelovedsaying‘EarlGrey’andwouldlikeonedaytomarrysomeonecalledEarlGrey.Theywo
4、uldliveinacastleinScotland,have9babies,2ducks,andadogcalledKevin.Noel’shobbywastositinhisshedanddrinkBaileusIrishcreamandstuffbirdshe’dfoundonthesideoffreeway.Marywishedthathe’dspendmoretimewithherandlesswithhisdeadfriends.Shealsowishedshehadsomebrothersandsisters.Hermotherhadtoldhe
5、rshewasan‘accident’.Howcouldsomeonebeanaccident?GrandpoppyRalphhadtoldherthatbabiesweredeliberateandfoundbydadsattheirbottomofbeer.GrandpoppyRalphhadsmeltlikepickledonionsandhadbeenamemberofFrankstonIceBreakersfor51years.Theyswaminwintertofeelalive.GrandpoppyRalphhadsaiditmadehisnip
6、pleserect.Hehaddiedtheyearbefore,aged74,andhisbestfriend,Ken,hasrecitedapoeminhishonour.Marymissedhimandoftenwonderedwhyhehaddrunkammonia.AlotofthingspuzzledMary,especiallyhermother,VeraLorraineDinkle.ToMay,Veraalwaysseemedwobbly.Veralikedlisteningtothecricketwhilebakingandhermainin
7、gredientwasalwayssherry.ShetoldMaryitwasatypeofteaforgrown-upsandneededconstanttesting.Marythoughthermothertestedthesherrywaytoomuch.Maryalsocouldn’tunderstandwhyVerawasalways‘borrowing’;yesterdaysheborrowedsomefishfingersfromAisle6.ShetoldMarysheputthingsupherdresstosaveonplasticba
8、gs.Verawasindeedaco
