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1、幽默文学翻译吕晓菲AllRightHurryingmy11-yearolddaughtertoschool,Imadearightturnataredlightwhenitwasprohibited.“Uh-oh,”Isaid,realizingmymistake.“Ijustmakeanillegalturn.”“Iguessit’sallright,”mydaughterreplied.“Thepolicecarbehindusdidthesamething.”我急着开车将11岁的女儿送到学校去,在红灯处右拐了,而那是不允许的(在一些国家如英国,交通规则是车辆靠左行,与我国相反)
2、.“啊噢,”意识到犯了错误,我说,“我违章拐弯了!”“我想那没关系的,”女儿回答说.“我们后面的警车,同样在拐弯.”Aguardwasabouttosignalhistraintostartwhenhesawanattractivegirlstandingontheplatformbyanopendoor,talkingtoanotherprettygirlinsidethecarriage.“Comingon,miss!”heshouted.“Shutthedoor,please!”“Oh,Ijustwanttokissmysistergoodbye,”shecalledback.
3、“Youjustshutthedoor,please,”calledtheguard,“andI’llseetotherest.”一位列车员刚要发信号让火车启动，这时他看见一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站台上一节打开的车厢门旁边，跟车厢了另一位漂亮姑娘说话。“快点，小姐！”他喊到。“请把门关上。”“噢，我还没有和妹妹吻别呢，”她回答道。“请把门关好了，”列车员说，“其余的事由我负责。”Thereisthecheerypushofelbowwithwhichthewaitershovesopenthekitchendoorwhenhebearsinyourtrayofsupper.Thereis
4、thesuspiciousandtentativewithdrawalofadoorbeforetheunhappybookagentorpeddler.Thereisthegenteelandcarefullymodulatedrecessionwithwhichfootmenswingwidetheoakenbarriersofthegreat.Thereisthesympatheticandawfulsilenceofthedentist’smaidwhoopensthedoorintotheoperatingroomand,withoutspeaking,impliestha
5、tthedoctorisreadyforyou.Thereisthebriskcataclysmicopeningofadoorwhenthenursecomesin,veryearlyinthemorning–“It’saboy!”快乐的服务员会用肘部顶开房门，手里的托盘上正放着你的晚餐。面露愁容、心神不定的书商和小贩小心翼翼地推开门。后退的男仆走着优雅的小碎步，为贵宾缓缓打开栎木大门。充满同情和一声不响的牙医助手打开通向手术室的门，无言地向你表示医生正在等你。一大早，兴奋的护士“哗”地一下打开门，走进来说：“生了个男孩！”IusedtothinkIwaspoor.Thenthey
6、toldmeIwasn’tpoor;Iwasneedy.Thentheysaiditwasself-defeatingtothinkofmyselfasneedy,thatIwasculturallydeprived.Thentheytoldme‘deprived’wasabadimage,thatIwasunderprivileged.Thentheytoldmethat‘underprivileged’wasoverused,thatIwasdisadvantaged.Istilldon’thaveadime.ButIhaveagreatvocabulary.”我以前总认为自己穷
7、，后来他们告诉我并非“穷”，而是“匮乏的”；而后他们说认为自己“匮乏”未免太贬损自我，还是说“被剥夺文化教育权利的”；而后他们又说“被剥夺”三字形象不佳，应该说，“享有较少权益的”；而后他们说这种措辞太泛滥，该说“处于不利地位的”。到头来我还是一文不名，可词儿有了一大堆。丑妻S君有妻，丑，为此颇感自豪，常于有靓妻之友面前夸口：丑妻是宝，见了恶心，不见省心，出门放心，免得有第三者插足。友听毕，掩口笑道：君言差矣，常言道：以为最安全的却是最危险，岂不闻情人眼里
